In Which Osaka Asks A Question
by Lady of the Spirit
Summary: In which an innocent question from Osaka during lunch turns into an interesting conversation... if Nyamo and Yukari were/are dating, then who tops? And of course, Chiyo doesn't know what they're all talking about, so Kagura tries to protect the eleven-year old's innocent mind. Yukari/Nyamo somewhat implied, hints of Yomi/Tomo. Oneshot, sort of implied Yuri/Femslash


It had started out as a normal lunch.

And then Osaka ruined it by suddenly opening her mouth, and asking possibly one of the oddest question anyone had ever heard her ask before. And considering how many odd things Osaka had said over the course of three years, that was saying a lot.

"Do y'all think Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei are dating?"

Yomi paused with her chopsticks halfway to her mouth, Sakaki stared blankly at the innocent Osakan, Kagura choked on her noodles, Tomo's eyes went wide (not in shock, but more as if the idea had never occurred to her before and now that it had been said, she was thinking about it with all of her brainpower), and Chiyo looked from Osaka to Sakaki to Yomi to Sakaki to Tomo and then back to Osaka again.

Osaka merely looked at them all, her normal expression on her face - the expression that somehow managed to be a combination of both utter cluelessness and honest wisdom.

Yomi was the first to speak. "Osaka…"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize that both Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei are females, right?"

"Yeah? What's that got to do with anything?"

Before Yomi could actually think about the surprising wisdom in Osaka's response, Tomo jumped to her feet. "You know, that actually makes sense!" She shouted, making everyone at the table - minus Sakaki, who merely sweatdropped - jump in surprise. "They're always acting like a married couple, aren't they?"

"... I'd say more like squabbling siblings, if you asked me." Kagura said, sweatdropping as well.

"Well, no one asked you!"

"Um…" Chiyo smiled nervously, interrupting before Kagura could respond to Tomo. "I think that they're both just friends."

"Psh!" Tomo waved her hand in a flippant way. "Please! No one could stay friends with someone like Yukari-chan for as long as Nyamo has!"

"Yomi's stayed friends with you, hasn't she?" Kagura said monotonously.

"What are you trying to say?!"

"I'm saying you and Yomi act like Yukari and Nyamo do. A lot."

"So does that mean…" Osaka said suddenly, eyes lighting up. She turned to Tomo and Yomi, giving them her wide-eyed stare.

The bespectacled girl realized what Osaka was thinking, and instantly stuck her noodles into her mouth, ducking her head. Tomo seemed to have realized it as well, for she turned a faint shade of red. "ARE YOU IMPLYING-"

"They're very good friends." Chiyo stated, eager to avoid any fighting for as long as she could - though with her group of friends, that was always a little hard - as well as bringing the conversation back to their original topic. "Both Yukari-sensei and Kurosawa-sensei, and Tomo and Yomi."

"I agree." Sakaki finally spoke up, and Chiyo smiled at her friends agreement. "... though I wouldn't be surprised to discover they were dating."

"_Eh?!" _ Every girl at the table stared at Sakaki in shock, taken aback by her sudden statement.

"So, then it follows to ask…" Osaka stated seriously, eyes narrowing in thought. "Who tops?"

Kagura clamped her hands down on Chiyo's ears, while Tomo shrieked and covered the orange-haired girl's eyes - what purpose that served, no one knew. "Don't you have any decency?" Kagura shouted, flushing vermilion. "Don't talk about things like that around Chiyo-chan!"

"It ain't like she understands what we're talking about anyway…"

"BUT SHE'LL UNDERSTAND LATER ON IN LIFE! I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR SCARING HER AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE!"

Tomo nodded solemnly in agreement. "BUT, GOING BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND-" She shrieked, before making her voice normal in the middle of her sentence. "Yukari."

"What makes you think that?" Yomi asked blandly, raising an eyebrow.

"C'mon! Think about it!" Tomo flapped her arms enthusiastically. "Yukari's always the one to take charge between them! She's the instigator in their relationship! Nyamo's totally the uke!"

"Oh, good point." Osaka nodded slowly in agreement.

"What's a uke?" Chiyo asked, blinking in confusion. Apparently, when Tomo had flapped her arms, it had knocked Kagura's hands away from Chiyo's ears, and the younger girl had heard the word Tomo had used. Kagura let out a shriek of panic upon realizing this.

"It doesn't mean anything!" She yelled.

"You'll understand when you're older, Chiyo-chan." Osaka stated solemnly.

"As little as I care about this conversation," Yomi spoke up. "I have to agree with Tomo. Yukari seems like she'd be the one to 'take charge'." She used air quotes around the last two words, knowing that while the older girls would understand her, Chiyo would not.

"Stop talking about it!" Kagura yelled with a panicked expression, looking from a confused Chiyo to a thoughtful Sakaki.

"No." Sakaki suddenly said, drawing the other girls attention to her. "I think… Kurosawa-sensei is the seme."

"EH!" Tomo yelled, eyes going wide. "Are you kidding me?! She can't be!"

"Don't you start too, Sakaki-san!" Kagura shouted, attempting again to cover Chiyo's ears. (The smaller girls question of "what's a seme?" going unanswered and ignored.)

Osaka tilted her head thoughtfully. "Now that Ah think 'bout it… Kurosawa-sensei acts like the boss a lot… an' Yukari-sensei just follows her around."

Tomo paused, thinking as well. "Huh… hey, you're right! Okay, I've changed my mind, Yukari is totally the uke!"

"Who's the uke?"

Everyone at the table froze instantly. Slowly, they all turned to the head of the table, where a curious looking Yukari was standing beside a bored looking Nyamo.

Osaka, being Osaka, smiled at her teacher and said, very calmly, "We're talkin' about you being the uke an' Nyamo being the seme in your relationship."

Both teachers faces flushed brilliant red, and for once Yukari seemed to be having trouble finding words to say. Osaka's facial expression changed suddenly, and she frowned. "Wait, does that mean that Yomi is the seme in her an' Tomo's relationship?"

Both Yomi and Tomo's reactions were the exact same as Yukari and Nyamo's.

**Feh, something random I thought of today while waiting for my sister to finish her swimming lesson…**

**Love Azumanga Daoih, but I don't know if I got everyone's characters right… so be a dear and tell me whether I did or not, alright?**

**I always thought of Kagura as being the girl to protect Chiyo-chan from learning about anything sexual (because of the strips with her and Tomo wondering about Chiyo's belief in Santa) while Sakaki thinks that since Chiyo's gonna learn about it eventually, she doesn't exactly see the harm in letting someone else slip in an innuendo every once in a while. **

**Don't own the characters! Just the idea!**


End file.
